WHAT YOU WANT TO BECOME? Why nobody is asking this question, now?

I was a kid back then. Like most of the new teachers; once a teacher came to our class and asked us to introduce ourselves, individually. His another favorite question was, “what you want to become in life?”

We all were young kids. I asked my friend sitting beside me, “so, what you are going to answer?”. He confidently replied, ” I will say I want to become a Doctor”. “What you would say”, he asked, looking at me with his curious eyes. “I don’t know. I have no idea”, I replied. “Can you suggest me something?”, I requested. “You can say, you want to join Navy. It sounds cool!”, he suggested. “OK. Navy sounds good”, I assured myself. And then the conversation with the Teacher went something like this:

Teacher – So, kid! What you want to become when you grow up?

Me – Sir, I will join Navy.

Teacher – Wow! That’s nice. A Navy-man. So, which Navy?

Me (with puzzled look) – Sir?

Teacher – Defense Navy or Merchant Navy?

Me (in my head) – There are two? Damn it!

And then I replied any one option just to get rid of that situation. May be I was too young to actually take this question seriously. I didn’t know much about life back then.

May be, we all were too young to answer this question honestly, back then. In that age, we all tend to reply the answers based on what we hear from our parents, relatives or friends. We had absolutely no idea that how significant this question was? And we had no understanding to actually answer it from our own perspective. We encountered this question frequently when we were kids. And our answer would change every time. But when we grew up, when we started understanding little bit about life; people stopped asking this question. When we could actually have our own perspective and honesty with the answer, people just stopped asking this question. In childhood, they would bombard us with this question. But now, nobody cares.

I don’t understand it. Is it because now this question is not as fun as it was during childhood? Is it because now they don’t get same puzzled look from us like childhood? Or do they assume that, you can become whatever you want during childhood or till you reach 20s only? Or does everyone believe that, what we are doing right now, is something that we wanted to become? Even if we have become that. The question could be “what we want to become next?”. Our goals keep evolving with time, isn’t it?

What path we take is a different question. But we can at least attempt to answer it now. Asking this question now, will help each one of us to open our heart.
To seek answer to this question, I sometime look at the life’s philosophy of our parent’s generation. I mean, they have been through this stage. There must be a pattern that can help me in finding an answer.

Our parents had a very straight-forward, sorted-out approach to life. Learn a skill, pick a job, grow and stay with that job till retirement, fulfill your responsibilities and be content with life. It was a wonderful approach and it worked for them. They balanced work with personal life flawlessly.

But is this approach working for our generation? Are we content with same job or career? Are we content with the idea of staying in same state all our life and assuming that whole country works the same way as our home state? Most of us have had more than one relationships. Given that experience, are we content with the definition of love in modern world?

Are we content with the thought that I would give up my dream of becoming an artist or entrepreneur (or whatever), just because it is not practical to pursue it, anymore? Or just because no one is asking about it? Does that define us?

It is a great thing if you are content with life. It’s a bliss. But it is a disaster, if you have replaced the word “content” with “compromise”. Those who do so, they try to pursue same dreams through their kids.  Because, you can’t fake “being content”. Even if the world doesn’t know about it, you still know it, deep inside.

So, in this rapidly changing lifestyle, how can the question “what you want to become?” be inconsequential after a certain age? Just because you are grown up now?

At least, now you are in position to answer it. You don’t have to dupe the world, like you did in childhood.

Following same path will give same results and same regrets. Challenge it. Because what defines life, between birth and death, is this courage to challenge and defy meaningless and outdated approaches. No great person has ever become great without showing this courage in life.

So, what you want to become next? Answer it, you will feel better. Write it somewhere. Doesn’t matter if you become that something in one month, in 5 years or after 50. You at-least have the courage to answer it. And If you want to open your heart to me, answer it in the comment section below.

Let’s encourage each other in life to open our hearts by asking this question, sincerely!

– Ajay Bamel | #cherishdpal

How It Feels Around 30?

Pick Your Mornings Carefully  —  It Can Make All The Difference

One New Hobby, That Changed My Perspective For Life

One New Hobby, That Changed My Perspective For Life

We humans have evolved a lot in last few thousand years. One thing that has helped us in this evolution is our curiosity about life. Whenever I look at a child I realize that she has to learn so much in life and she is doing it most efficiently in first 3 decades of life. Then the process becomes little slow. But that is time when we actually start realizing the power of learning. By that age, we can easily read, talk and evaluate things on our own. After that the world expects us to contribute back based on our learning. That is the time when we start feeling that we have learned enough and that curious mind becomes little lazy.

One new hobby can help our mind to fall in love with that curiosity again. You learn so much by just one new hobby. Let me discuss with you one incident of my own life here.

When I was 17 (and introvert), I joined a gym as new hobby. My first day at the gym was miserable. You find yourself between those strong looking fitness freaks. The kind of efforts they were putting and the amount of weight they were lifting drove me crazy. The first thought that hit my mind was, that I can’t do it, ever. But somehow I decided to stick to that place.
By sticking there, I realized that this hobby was not just about the physical strength, it was also about becoming mentally tougher. It was about doing something that you couldn’t imagine to do in past. During those initial days of struggle I learned 3 important lessons:

1. Start small, but do start: I was lifting just 5 Kg of weight. It looked kind of funny among those big build guys who were doing rigorous workout. But I was improving on it every week. In few months I became one of those fitness freaks, high weight lifting guys. I could have never improved if I had not started, small be it.
This learning has helped me with every new project in life. Start, just start. Even if it’s very small step, take it. And then build on it.

2. By working together, we grow quick: Of-course there was a trainer, who would guide me for different kinds of exercises. But, the maximum learning came from my other gym partners. They all looked huge, big tough guys, but they were actually very cooperative whenever I needed a support/guidance. Initially, I thought that I was competing with others in the gym. But gradually I realized that I was competing with myself only. When I tried to compete with others, it made me restless. I was under some invisible kind of pressure. But the moment I realized that I was competing with myself. It took away all the restlessness and replaced it with a motivation to do better than yesterday. We all together, were competing with our own pasts and aimed to make it better in future.
This same thing happens to us in life also. When we work together, we grow quick. But when we start that invisible rivalry with others at work or in life, it can take away all the fun of that particular activity.

3. When you encourage others, it returns back multi-fold: There used to be incidents, where I used to struggle to lift weight or to do particular set of reps. Someone standing near me, would just shout “Come on, you can do it!”. And that will somehow provide a hidden power to complete that particular task. I learnt it and did it with others who were struggling at a task. When they completed it, I felt good.
That’s how encouragement works, not just in the gym but also at work and in other parts of life as well.

It was more of mental toughness that I gained from a place where I was actually working on my physical toughness. These 3 important lessons can be learnt from any hobby that you like. It could be learning music or dance, learning new game, learning new software or learning new language. Every hobby will help us in turning into a better version of ourselves. Right now, when I am writing this article, I am trying to start small, I am trying to learn together and I am trying to encourage ourselves for a better future. Find a hobby and you will realize, there is so much to learn. Lots of success to you!
‪
-Ajay Bamel | #cherishdpal

Two Teachers

Chapter -1

“Why are you standing outside his office, just go inside and talk to him”, said Parv. “No, I can’t. I am too scared of Parth Sir”, replied Nikhil. They both are school time friends and now studying in same college but in different departments. Parv was a very shy person during school-time, he would hide himself when any guest visited their home. He would just run away if some girl tried to talk to him. On the other side, Nikhil was always a very confident person. He could easily talk to any stranger or any senior during school-time. Parv was always impressed from Nikhil’s skills. They both became great friends over a period of time.

Now they both were in the 2^nd year of their graduation and were trying to catch-up with the pace of life. Those who knew Parv since school days would be surprised to meet him now, since he was much more confident than before. He wanted to explore himself now; he could confidently talk to anyone. One evening in the playground, Parv asked Nikhil “why are you so scared of him?”. “It’s not just me, we all are scared of him”, replied Nikhil stretching his right arm. “But why?” wondered Parv. “We don’t know. He is so silent; he rarely scolds us but when he looks at you, he can make you tremble in fear” was the reply from Nikhil doing bend-stretching. “May be you people are not following his instructions, be attentive in his class, and complete your work on time”. “That’s not the case Parv, we have heard these horror stories from seniors that if he find any indiscipline from any student he would fail you in his subject” replied Nikhil. “Fail you? There are punishments for indiscipline, failing someone should be judged on the basis of academic performance” said Parv doing lunges. You would not understand Parv, all his lectures are session of terror for us. We feel petrified in his classes; nobody from us can dare to ask a question. “Are you idiot? If you don’t ask questions, how would you learn?” said Parv in very firm voice. “We don’t learn, we just survive his classes” was the spontaneous reply from Nikhil.

Nikhil couldn’t sleep properly that night. All he was thinking about the past one year. He and Parv started at almost same level in the college, but now Parv was the one who looked more confident and full of activities. He was doing so well in his study and in cultural events as well, people admired him so much. Whereas, Nikhil looked like a scared child who was too afraid to face that one teacher. He thought, Parv was lucky to have a teacher like Ram Sir. His teacher would always ask the students to raise questions, and to participate in cultural events or in the sports. Ram Sir would rarely scold anybody and would always inspire his students to do more. He had so much patience when it comes to dealing with students. Ram Sir was teaching the students for last 18 years and almost everyone loved him. They all admired him. Parv became entirely a new personality after meeting Ram Sir. Whereas Nikhil went to a different zone after meeting Parth Sir.

Nikhil still remembers the 1^st day of his college when his father came with him to college. On his way to college his father had told him that, Nikhil now you would enter a different world. You will get a chance to discover yourself, you will learn lots of new things, you will make lots of friends, and you will be dancing and singing on the stage. Just be disciplined and explore yourself. You will become a lot more confident person when you will move out of college. Nikhil thought this all is so true for his friend Parv, but he himself has not evolved much. May be a teacher’s role is more than just teaching. May be Ram Sir knew how to get the best out of his students (each one of them). Ram Sir knew that each one of his student had something special in them.

Today, Nikhil is working in an MNC. He gets appreciation from all his colleagues and seniors for his work. One evening he gets a call from Parth Sir .. (TBC)

In Conversation With A Terrorist

I don’t know what they tell you or what they teach you. But what you are doing doesn’t make sense at all. Because neither you are brave and nor you have courage to be real you when you are in public. You wait for dark nights and intrude in my country. You mix-up in people, hide your identity and kill a few of them. They even don’t know the reasons why you are doing this because you never talk to them being real you. You never discuss with them what you want. You just try to kill them or threaten them. But this would never help you in winning their belief. You can never win a man’s heart by killing him. And if you have killed a man, whom do you think you will conquer after that. You don’t have courage to look into his eyes and tell what you want. I am just an ordinary man who will do anything to protect his family and here you are trying to hurt my bigger family, my nation. If I can fight for those 4 family members, you just cannot imagine how much I am ready to give when it comes to 120 crores of my family members. We respect soldiers for their bravery, dignity, integrity, honesty and courage for being the real them, when they are with us. You are not even a soldier (if you had a misconception), that’s why whatever you do is defined by just one word ‘terror’, and that terror is inside you as we all are blessed with peace and life inside.

I am talking about peace, not because I am scared. I am brave enough to live life in peace. It’s you who is afraid; it’s you who hides and stabs me from behind. It’s you who is not sure of, what to do with his life except throwing it away. I am still not sure, what you are trying to do. Do you want to kill a lot of us or you want to scare a many of us by killing a few. Either way you are a looser, and you can do this for years but you won’t get anything meaningful for life out of it. Either you end it here or become a reason of disgrace for coming generations, who will laugh at you for the way you were trying to make a life on earth by shooting it, bombarding it or stabbing it every day. You did not even understand the basics of life and you thought you could tell others, how to live here.

And yes, I am an ordinary man but it will take just a moment to add an ‘extra’ to it and become extra-ordinary, if needed. Because I am brave enough to look into everyone’s eyes and tell how I am going to make a meaningful life on earth.